True Love
Behind The Painful Personal Unrequited Love For Transient Objects By The Fractured Separate Self We May Believe We Are Is The Longing To Return To The Joyfully Always Requited Loving Home Of The Whole Self We Really Are.
“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self-respect. And its these things I’d believe in. Even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be.
I love her, and that is the beginning of everything”
F. Scott Fitzgerald.
The images, sights, smells, sounds, and touch of another person. We may become attached to these so much for the wholeness we feel they give us. They represent the wholeness we have lost from the painful feelings arising from believing the self we are to be but a fractured separate object. We become convinced these objective experiences are true love because we feel love when we achieve them. We believe this object of our desire is the source of our safety, freedom, respect and all the other beautiful qualities we love. We think we have found a safe home for our life. And for a moment, we have. But, we fail to see that the love we experience comes from ourselves, not the object of our desire. How can an object give us love? We know it, but we often angrily bury the intuition so deep that it cannot disturb our fleeting taste of peace that is so intoxicating. We don’t like to hear others bursting our bubble by reminding us of this, for they remind us of a still, quiet inner voice that agrees with them. We still are not ready to accept that the love we experience only appears because as the seeking desire for the object is met, we can rest. We fail to see that what we are relaxing back into is the love we innately are, which is sourced in our aware self and can never be granted by an object of any kind. Therefore, in this state of illusion, inevitably, as the objects we love are temporary metaphors of the underlying reality of universal love, we suffer enormous pain as we hopelessly try to grip onto these metaphorical objects, which sooner or later, like a mirage in the desert, disappear.
The dream of love by the separate fractured self is for love, but it mistakes the experience of love for a metaphor for it, for it has mistaken itself as a metaphor for it. Then, as the metaphor inevitably vanishes, we experience the pain of longing again, for we have not recognised the trustworthy source of love was not these temporary metaphorical objects but our constantly aware self. As we sleep, we may dream about the objects of our desire, waking up in sweaty fitful anxiety. However, this kind of love for objects was always a dream whether we are asleep or not. A dream by the separate self of gaining an unrequitable love from an object that is an illusion. As we delve into what it is about this object we were seeking, we discover it is the refuge of finding a loving home of wholeness and the life-affirming qualities it gives rise to. Once we open to the experience of the whole aware self, we find the true home of the ever-present love we have been seeking all along, and then we can truly enjoy relating to others free of fear and based on the life-affirming qualities of wholeness we naturally are and build the best relationships we have ever experienced.
With Love
Freyja
